HELP! The Four Letter Word

It is funny how many people will not ask for help, even if they are on the verge of a complete meltdown. As a manager I tell all of my team members I am here to help and serve them. I have always believed that a strong leader needs to understand that they are in that position to serve their team, not the other way around. However, even though I have expressed this many times, many of my team members treat ‘help’ like a four letter word. To be honest maybe I set a bad example because I am as guilty as everyone else about asking for help. I must say though, I will ask for help before it’s too late. Maybe it is years of conditioning that only the weak ask for help? I can’t answer why the culture exists, but only to the risk that exists, if ignored.

Too many people in today’s times are afraid to ask for help and feel that they are expected to ‘go it alone’. As many of you already know my football analogies, the truth is a Quarterback cannot score all by themselves, they need the help of the entire team. While it may be admirable to be a martyr, most martyrs end up getting sacrificed. You really need to ask yourself the following question, “Will my manager be more upset if I ask for help, or if I crash and burn?”

Let me start off by saying that if your manager gets upset about you asking for help, then you have bigger problems than just being overwhelmed. However, most true leaders will not get upset, or even bothered about one of their team members asking for help. In fact most leaders live for the opportunity to help others. When the waters get a little muddy, it usually comes from the way that the team member asks for help. If you go to your manager with questions such as “what should I do?”, or “I can’t do…” this can make a manager, who already has a full day’s work themselves, feel that you are asking them to do your job for you.

Throughout my career I have always tried to bring solutions to my manager, not problems, as I stated in a previous bolg. Now that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help, but do give it some deep thought before you ask for help. One successful way to accomplish that is to try to follow a few simple guidelines:

1. Whatever you ask your manager, should be able to be answered with a “yes” or “no”. This will show that you have put thought into your dilemma and have possible solutions; you are just looking for direction.

2. The support you are asking for is equipment, or labor based. These requirements will come up from time to time and you should never feel that you are encumbering your manager with such requests.

3. Specific information, policy, or advice. It is a manager’s job to help guide you in the right direction, so don’t feel in the wrong asking a direct question to help you decide the proper approach.

4. Finally, asking permission. This is the one issue most people don’t have an issue with and will engage their managers with just to make sure they cover themselves before moving forward.

As long as you respect the fact that your manager also has a large amount of work to complete, and you show respect for their time, you should never have to feel bad about asking for help. Remember that you are part of their team, and your manager wants you to succeed. However, they are not mind-readers and with today’s economy they are as overwhelmed as you are, so there is a good chance they may not ask you if you need help. If you don’t tell them you need help you can be assured you will not receive any. If you decide not to ask for help and your project crashes, you have no one to blame but yourself. The end result will affect your manager, your team, and your own morale, just because you were too proud to ask for help. Chances are if that happens, help isn’t the only four letter word that will be tossed around the office.

Two Great Posts from Lee Cockerell's Site

Blog on Delegation


http://blog.leecockerell.com/?p=1206




Blog on Sacrifice

http://blog.leecockerell.com/?p=1199

The Lumberjack’s Apprentice

Below is one of my favorite stories which contain multiple lessons. I have used this story many times to express the importance of staying current and always working smart. I was told this story by one of my mentors when I was just an apprentice and I have never forgotten it. I don’t know where it originated from and I would give credit if I did. I hope you enjoy!



A young man showed up to the towns’ largest saw mill looking for a job as a lumberjack. When he interviewed with the mill’s foreman, the foreman told him he wasn’t hiring anyone and to go away. The young man said please sir, just give me a chance. I have a very strong work ethic and I never quit. I know if you just give me a chance you will be happy with my results. The foreman told the young man, alright, here’s what I’ll do. I will send you out with today’s crew, and if you can keep up with these seasoned veteran loggers we can discuss you coming to work here. The young man said thank you sir and headed out with the crew.

The seasoned lumberjacks were teasing the young man as they walked out to the field. They called him scrawny, baby face, and asked him if he had enough diapers to last all day in the field. The young man just took it in stride and continued along the path as he focused on the task at hand. One by one the crew members were dropped off at their stations and started chopping down trees. When the young man tried to get off at a stop, they wouldn’t let him; they kept taking him deeper and deeper into the forest. They told him you have to earn the closest spots to the mill rookie, and they continued to laugh out loud.

Finally after the young man made it to his spot he started chopping away.

A little while later he came walking back towards the mill. All the lumberjacks were hazing him calling him a quitter, and saying that didn’t take long. However, they were bewildered when he came walking back by, heading back out to his spot.

About an hour later, here comes the young man again. At this point the hazing was turning into insults, calling him lazy, and saying “what, do you need a break again?” But again after a quick stop in the mill, he was headed back out to his spot.

This continued several more times throughout the day. The seasoned lumberjacks were completely beside themselves with anger, at the young man’s ways. But found solace with each other knowing that there was no way he would be back the following day.

Finally, the day ended and they all went back to the mill. The foreman pulled the young man into his office and closed the door. The older men were laughing and pondering about what was going on behind that door. You see, the Foreman had a bad temper and was known for really laying down a lashing when someone even just barely missed their mark of 4 cords in a day, and with all the young man’s lollygagging he would have been lucky to get a single cord cut.

After a few minutes the foreman and the young man came out of the office, both of them laughing. The entire crew was shocked to see the young man wearing a uniform, as the foreman said,” I want you all to welcome the newest member of our team.” The foreman went on to say he had never seen anyone able to cut 8 cords of lumber in a single day, and he was sure that this kid would be a great addition.

The seasoned crew was stunned. Then the crew leader shouted out, “No Way! That is impossible! We watched this kid walk back and forth to the mill at least 8 times throughout the day. There is no way he was able to cut down more trees than the rest of us.” The young man just stood there perplexed, then he said, “well how many times did you go back to sharpen your axe?”



I tell this story to illustrate that no matter how experienced you are and no matter how long you have been doing it ‘that way’, you should always look at things with a new set of eyes and be open to learning, even from the most junior members of your team. More importantly, you should always be analyzing and improving the way things are done. Change is inevitable, and new technology is developing every day. If you are not changing, you are getting left behind. So keep striving for information and keep your eyes and mind open for new ways to get things done faster, better, and more efficiently. In other words, always be sharpening your axe!

The Power of Now!

This article is about the power of now and not putting things off. Many times I am asked, ” how do you remain so organized in the face of utter chaos?” The simple answer is that I don’t allow things to pile up. In previous articles I have explained the art of time management and planning ‘Murphy-Time’ into your daily schedule. While I will be the first to admit that lately my scheduled Murphy-Time has not been enough to keep up with all the events, without it, I would be sunk. Prioritizing has to come into play when you become overwhelmed but I don’t want to confuse prioritizing with procrastination.


The power of now is what I call not procrastinating, not putting something off, but jumping right on the issue without delay. I can’t tell you how many times I see managers have an issue come up, or a question they put off and say “I will find out”, or “I will check into that”. If somebody approaches me with a problem I solve it right then. I pick up the phone, shoot an email, make a decision, or address the problem right then. I don’t have the luxury to put it off or wait until I get to it. If someone was able to approach me with the question, then I obviously had the time to deal with the issue. If I were to say “Let me look into that”, I know that an hour from now I will have 20 other issues vying for my time.

All too often I have team members come into my office and say “when you have a minute”… They are always shocked when I say what’s on your mind? And ask them to come in and sit down. That is the power of now. Not only does it keep things from piling up on me, but it lets my teammates know that they are important to me, and I care about what they care about.

I will have a customer ask me a technical question that might require research. I will ask them if they have a minute, and will pull out my iPad and start searching the internet, or make some phone calls with them standing right there until I can get them the answer they needed. Again, that is the power of now.

Many times I will have a team member come in my office and say “I need …”. I will stop what I am doing and take whatever actions are required by me to get them what they need. That is the power of now.

Finally, when I have a thought “it might be a good idea if…” I immediately analyze the pros & cons, make a decision, and if I decide it’s a good idea, I take the actions required to implement the idea right then.

The true power of now comes down to the fact that in most cases you really do have the time to address issues when they are presented. Why would you put them off? Surely you are not going to have more time later. I can almost guarantee that there will be another issue requiring your attention later on, so why let things pile up? Resolve the issues or questions now!

If you are contemplating a career move, going back to school for a better education, or simply just considering a new marketing strategy. The time to act is now. Weigh the options, lay out the pros vs. cons and if it makes sense, then do it. If you have weighed out all the positives and negatives yet still can’t decide, flip a coin, and move on. There is no excuse for procrastinating, and it only leads to becoming overwhelmed down the road.

The power of now translates into everything you do both at work and at home. I hear people say I have this goal, or I plan to… However, if you ask them details about how, what, where and when, you quickly find out that they don’t have a plan or a goal, they only have a dream. A plan or a goal requires specific steps and processes to acquire the goal or successfully complete the plan. Be a doer not a dreamer. Don’t talk about how nice it would be if, or wouldn’t it be great if. Put together your plan and as Nike would say “just do it”. And when should you do it? NOW!

Enlightened Over Enraged

This article is about getting better with every mistake you make, something I have always implemented in my life’s effort. We have all heard the adage that it doesn’t matter how many times you get knocked down, but that you get up and try again. While this may be true, in actuality, it takes quite a bit more than just getting up. If you get knocked down and get right back up, but do the same thing you originally did to get knocked down, chances are you will end up knocked down again. The trick is to understand why you got knocked down in the first place. As George Santayana said; “Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it”.


I can remember many years back when I played football, watching other players that would get beat on the field and then get mad, waving their hands, cursing, yelling, pounding the ground, or many other foolish things to express their anger over the fact that they just got vanquished by the other team. To be honest, I never understood this behavior. Not because I never had been outplayed by another, but because when it did happen, I would stop and analyze what just transpired. I would figure out where I went wrong, make some adjustments and then try again, usually with better results than just getting mad and making disparaging remarks about the other person’s mother.

This application applies in all walks of life including work. Many times I see people blame others for their shortcomings, or blame other companies when things go wrong, rather than looking internally at what they could have done better. It seems that we live in an age today where everything is somebody else’s fault and no one wants to take responsibility for their own actions. Consider this your wakeup call if you are someone who likes to cast blame. If you find yourself in an unfavorable position, chances are you contributed to the chain of events and put yourself in that position. Take the time to learn from it and avoid those same actions again in the future.

The truth is that every failure, every mistake, every time something doesn’t go your way, you are faced with a teachable moment wherein you have a chance to analyze what went wrong, make some adjustments and get back out there and try again. It is your choice to become enraged and to continue making the same mistakes over and over again, or to take the time to understand where, when, and why things went the way they did-- and become enlightened.

That Dog Won’t Hunt

I have expressed many times my belief that you need to spend the time and effort to train your team members. I have also explained that too many people expect to hire the perfect employee and are too quick to fire someone. I am a firm believer in the fact that most people want to do a good job, they just lack the direction, support, or skills to do so. As I have stated many times, I feel that if you provide a team member with the proper training and support, and they understand what the expectations are, most will perform and meet or exceed your expectations. This article is not about those people. This article is about those few people who cannot be taught. While this is not meant to be a negative article, I felt it was important to help others understand that sometimes, ‘that dog just won’t hunt’.


Throughout my career I have always made an effort to provide as much training, and support as possible. When a team member stumbles, I try to catch them and help them understand the meaning of a teachable moment. However, you do need to know when enough is enough. Over the years I have spent hours trying to teach and mentor people that just were not willing to learn. In most cases it was due to the fact that they believed that they already knew everything. As you can imagine it isn’t possible to teach someone something if they already know everything.

Recently I had an employee that was technically as good as you could find. The quality of his work was as high as any other team member I had. However, he had the misconception that he already knew everything and was bothered by the training meetings I hold every month. He would be the last person in the room, he spent most of the time looking at his Blackberry while I would be going through the training, and when I would ask for questions he would only ask questions like, “when can we all get a raise or a bonus?”, or any other question that would cause discomfort amongst the team members in the room. Most customers liked the quality of his work but didn’t like his attitude. This combined with his combative nature towards authority commonly put me in a difficult position.

One morning I received a call from our insurance company informing me of an incident where this employee was charged with a felony reckless driving offense, and that he would no longer be allowed to operate any company owned equipment, including the service truck he was currently using. He had done it to himself now. His contempt for authority had caught up with him. I had no choice at this point but to terminate his employment.

Upon reflection I knew I needed to remove this employee from my organization prior to this point, and I could have avoided the risk if I had properly analyzed the situation. However, I tend to error on the side of giving people a chance to improve and grow, rather than just removing them at the first sign of trouble. With that said, there has to be a point where you realize, that ‘that dog won’t hunt’, and all of your efforts are in vain.

Due to this particular turn of events, I have taken the time to look deep inside myself and come up with a new method to mitigate the risk of such team members. I have implemented this method, and if you are on the fence about a particular team member I suggest you do the following steps as well, to see if they are worth the time to train. First, give them some simple clear objectives to complete, make it something that doesn’t require any real skill, just follow through. Once you have tasked them with these simple objectives; then gauge their performance on completing those tasks. Did they complete the tasks in a timely manner? What was the quality of their delivered product? How much support did you have to give them before they completed the project? Once you have analyzed the results, the answer should be pretty clear. If the team member cannot perform on simple tasks that require little to no skill-set, what is the use of spending time and effort in training them further? Think about it for a minute. If they couldn’t complete something that was well within their knowledge base, then all the training in the world isn’t going to change their work practices. The tasks you gave them, they already knew how to do, since that was a prerequisite of the task in the first place, so training wouldn’t have helped the final outcome.

I hope everyone understands that I have not changed my beliefs one bit. I still believe that most people, with the proper training and support, will turn into highly effective team members. However, there has to be a time when you stop banging your head against the wall, stop expending so much effort in trying to drag someone to success, and just realize that, ‘that dog won’t hunt’.

In closing, just because ‘that dog won’t hunt’, doesn’t mean that dog can’t be a good guard dog, service dog, or just a good companion. Even when you realize that someone doesn’t fit into your organization, it doesn’t mean they can’t excel somewhere else. So don’t put the dog down just because it won’t hunt, help find a place where that dog can feel special. Not because it is your responsibility, but because it is the right thing to do.

The Poor Mexican Fisherman

Below is a story that has a very solid meaning for everyone who has a job, a company, or any responsibilities in life really. It is called the Poor Mexican Fisherman and it goes like this;




A very successful American businessman was on vacation in Mexico.

As he relaxed on the beach, he noticed a poor fisherman coming in on his old dilapidated boat, with a small stringer of fish. The American complimented the fisherman on his catch and asked him how long it took him to catch that many fish.

“Not long” was the reply from the fisherman.

“Then why didn’t you stay out longer” asked the tourist?

“Because this is enough for me and my family” explained the fisherman.

“So what do you do with the rest of your time the businessman inquired?”

The poor fisherman said “I sleep late, fish for a while, play with my children, take a siesta and spend time with my wife. Then in the evening, I go into the village to visit my friends, I have a few drinks, play the guitar and sing a few songs. I have a full life.”

The American was surprised at the poor man’s ignorance. “I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you become very successful. You need to spend more time on the water fishing; then you can sell the extra fish, make more money and buy a bigger boat.”

“And after that, asked the fisherman?”

The businessman continued, “With the extra money from the bigger boat, you can buy two or three boats and eventually hire more people to operate a fleet of fishing trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can start to negotiate directly with the processing plants. After a while you would be able to open your own plant. Then you could leave this little village for Mexico City and eventually, New York! From there you could operate the whole enterprise.”

“How long would that take,” asked the fisherman?

“20-25 years,” The businessman replied.

“And after that, asked the fisherman?”

The businessman continued, “Well my friend, that’s when the fun starts.” explained the tourist, “When the business gets really big, you can sell stock in the company and make millions!”

“Wow, millions. What happens after that,” asked the fisherman?

The highly educated man said “After that you’ll be able to retire and do whatever you enjoy.”

The poor fisherman looked perplexed and replied, “But, senor what I enjoy is to live on the coast, sleep in every day, do some fishing, play with my kids, take a siesta and spend time with my wife. And in the evenings I like to go out drinking and singing with my friends. Sounds to me like I am already...how do you call it.... retired?” And with that the fisherman turned and walked away.

The businessman with all his education and success was enlightened by the poor Mexican fisherman.

One of the biggest risks, we as managers’ face, is corporate burn-out. Since all good managers are highly involved in their operations, and hold a personal feeling of ownership in everything they do, they also have a tendency to never shut down the work side and keep balance between work, family, friends, and themselves. It is important to make sure that you include time for yourself along with the other big three.

While those that know me will call me out on this article, claiming that I don’t walk the walk when it comes to balance. Believe it or not I do feel that I have a good balance in my life. I really do love what I do, I consider the people I work with my friends and family, so in a twisted way I keep everything balanced.

Everyone’s idea of balance is different so it is up to you to decide what real balance is in your life. What works for me in many cases will not work for the majorly of the population. With that said you should take the time to understand where you have imbalance in your life and work just as hard to keep your life in a constant state of balance as you do to perform your job. You never know what tomorrow brings so enjoy every day as though you were ....how do you say it? .... RETIRED!